Uncategorized – Page 3 – Time Travel Rescue

We live in The Matrix, Part I

The Matrix tells the story of humanity tricked into thinking that they live in a vast computer-generated virtual reality that is created by satient machines. The virtual world is set in late 20th century. The main character, a hacker named Neo, took the Red Pill in order to see the world as it truly is.

The Matrix is a modern day cave allegory of Plato. We see the world, and ourselves, based on information that comes through our senses, not necessarily reality. The prisoners in Plato’s allegory thought the world contained only the shadows projected onto the wall that faced them because they’re chained and the shadows were the only things they ever saw.

In a sense we also live in The Matrix, although not necessarily in the same way as presented in the film. Instead of a virtual reality made from ones and zeros, our Matrix is constructed, at least in a major way, from the bundles of beliefs and ideas that govern how we move through, perceive, and experience life, both internally and externally.

Many assumptions disguise themselves as beliefs and are experienced as personal knowledge. These disguised assumptions often take the form of “should” statements. For example, many of us believe that in order to be a valuable person, we should get a good job, which means we should get a good degree from a good school. We also believe that we should have a romantic relationship, marriage, mortgage, kids, etc. at various milestones. All these beliefs determine what we do, don’t do, say, and don’t say, and pretty much create the lives that each person experiences.

Most of these beliefs lie deep in our subconscious that we may not even recognize their presence. Yet they run our lives and pretty much determine how happy or unhappy we are. These beliefs determine our perceived reality, just like the simulated reality world in The Matrix.

Our beliefs comprise our reality, our life, and our world.

Our work of life is to become aware of those beliefs, evaluate them, and release (let go of) or reprogram them if they are illusory. When we release or reprogram our false beliefs, we see the world as it truly is, not seen through a distorted lense. That’s like taking the Red Pill in The Matrix.

Except that in our case, taking the Red Pill wakes us up, sets us free, and gives us bliss. Whereas taking the Red Pill in the movie put Neo in a post-apocalyptic world.

For example, I used to believe strongly, or rather I used to KNOW that I needed to be all those things to be valued as a person, for example having a college degree, getting a highly respectable job, and climbing the corporate ladder.

Although I’m very blessed and happy to have my degree, my work, and professional achievements, I now see that the connection between my value or sufficiency as a human being and all the things I thought I needed to obtain or achieve is just my belief and the society’s. But the belief or assumption about that connection has completely shaped my life and how I value myself.

I now wish to release the connection between my personal worth and material or professional achievements. The new belief I want to instill is that I am good enough and I deserve love, simply because I exist. Relying on external circumstances to demonstrate my worth, as a very wise person pointed out, would subject me to their whims and fluctuations, which can be unreliable and unstable.

And so are you. You are valued, and you are enough, simply because you exist.

This new belief might evolve into that I’m happy and content just because I exist, and it doesn’t even matter whether I’m “valuable”, “good”, or “enough.” I don’t mean to suggest that I’m quitting my job to wander the world. Although I love my job and I am grateful for my life situations, I don’t need to define my self worth with them.

What are the beliefs that may be running your life? Can you imagine how your life would differ if you released the connection between your self worth and these bundles of beliefs?

The emotional weight of other people’s opinions

The emotional significance we give to other people’s opinions equals the weight that that we voluntarily put on our souls.

We often need to know other people’s opinions. We need to know what our colleagues and bosses think, for example. “I’ll be my own boss!”, you say? Well, you’d still need to care about your customers’ opinions. So, it’d be pretty hard if not nearly impossible to navigate this game of life without knowing what others think.

But there’s a difference between knowing, versus tying our emotional wellbeing to, what others think.

How would you feel if someone said to you, “Great job!”? I’d be elated! Ego boosted! Self-worth proved again! And then, on to the next external validation.

But what if they said “Try again, improvements needed.”? One could simply try to understand the improvements needed, and proceed without an emotional impact. In this sense, what someone else thinks is simply used as information to formulate a response. Their opinions, regardless of delivery, could provide invaluable information for us to improve personally and professionally.

But how often do we take that opinion much more seriously and harshly? My chest would tighten up. Probably disappointed and even ashamed. I would feel like a “bad” person. Energy drained. That’s much more than viewing someone else’s opinions as information; that’s giving emotional weight, and tying my mental wellbeing, to what someone else thinks. Close your eyes and imagine someone saying to you, “try again, improvements needed”. Do you feel a sting?

But why should we suffer that sting? First, why should we give the power over our inner wellbeing to someone else? Why should another person decide whether we should feel terrible or fabulous? That’s not their job, and they’re probably running behind dealing with their own problems! The power and the responsibility for our inner wellbeing lie within us, and only within us unless we give them – knowingly or not – to other people or their opinions.

But we don’t always know what other people really think, do we? Even if we asked, they can say something different than how they really feel. So, in many cases we’re just assuming what someone else thinks without realizing that we’re assuming. What we take as a fact about someone’s opinion may only be our assumptions about it.

People say and do things more so because of what goes on in their their life situations, not because of us. It’s not personal! This is one of the best lessons I’ve ever learned. See The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B005BRS8Z6/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_WYFNB7KT1PW8ADQGSJP2

They may be going through a tough day, they may be terse because they’re running short on time, and they may not even mean anything negatively. So don’t let our ideas, or assumptions, about what someone else thinks validate us, make us feel bad, or otherwise disturb our inner peace.

Anyway, even though it seems that everybody has an opinion, often strongly, about everything, it doesn’t mean that they’re right. So, try to understand other people’s views, evaluate them objectively, but don’t take them as a fact about your work or personal value.

You are valued simply because you exist.

Think back to the times when someone’s opinion really hurt your feelings, in light of what we just went through. Do you still want them to determine how YOU feel, or do you want to be in charge? Did you actually know their opinion, or were you assuming? Is it possible that they were going through a tough time and it wasn’t about you? Were they even right in the first place? Should it even matter?

Do you feel a little lighter now? If you do, you may be starting to see the fallacy of tying our emotional wellbeing to what others think and, because of that, you may be sensing a little weight lifting off of your soul. Keep releasing the connection between your happiness and what you think or assume what others think, and feel your soul becoming even lighter.

Thanksgiving

“The quality of our thoughts equals the quality of our lives.”
– Papa

I used to check the news and emails every morning when I open my eyes. Guess what? Stress immediately filled my mind. Cortisol pumped into the bloodstream. And that’s before getting out of bed!

What thoughts fill your mind as you wake up each morning?

Instead of filling our thoughts with the news, what if we woke up every morning filling our minds and hearts with gratitude?

We can use our calendars to remind ourselves every day. At 7 am, get a reminder to thank the Universe.

Thank the warm bed that we sleep in. How nice does it feel during these winter days? Roof over my head? Awesome. A good night’s rest? How about good health? Loving family and friends?

Too mundane? Try imagining our lives without them. Do they feel more special now?

“Desire the things that we already have.”
– Stoics

And what about YOU? You have a good heart? Care about others? Diligent at work and life? Then Go You! Thank yourself for being a good person. Thank yourself for trying something new. Thank yourself for being you.

If the quality of our thoughts equals the quality of our lives, and we want to be happier and feel better, then let’s try changing what goes on inside our minds and hearts for the better.

Happy Thanksgiving! May all your days be filled with gratitude.

The first step

You decide!

First, decide to be happy. Ready? And if you decide to be happy, then be willing to do what it takes to be happy, okay?

What’s happiness?

Everyone thinks they want to be happy. But what’s “happiness”? When I was 5, happiness meant holidays with cousins. Later on, happiness came from video games, first dates, passing the CPA exam, getting a new job, finding love, and making partner. None of them provided lasting happiness. Perhaps because they all came from the outside.

Someday, happiness may also mean another long term romantic relationship, marriage, and children. Maybe they will prove more durable and consistent than the other forms of possible happiness!

What if we looked for happiness within? What if, deep down inside, we ARE happiness? What if happiness means contentment, the absence of desire, the desire for things to be different?

That’s true happiness. Contentment is a state of mind, so happiness is a state of mind that requires nothing to change. Nothing other than being present.

What does it take to be happy?

Decide that it’s only found within. Give up searching outside.
Decide that YOU have the power and responsibility to give happiness to yourself and others.
Redefine happiness so that it can happen easily and frequently.

Who decides what happiness means, for YOU?

Do you want to decide when to be happy, or do you want someone else to decide for you? “I decide!!” Easy question. Of course we want to decide our own happiness ourselves, not someone else.

But if we decide to be in charge of our own happiness, then why did we give an external force, be it money, fame, status, or even another person the power to make us happy or unhappy? Why forgo happiness until the next promotion? Why let another person decide if we’re happy or not, by feeling unhappy when they’re not in our lives? We SAY we want happiness, but we DO things that make us unhappy.

Do you want to be happy all the time or once in a while? Do you want to make it easy for yourself to be happy, or hard?

“All the time!!” Says everyone, I assume. Of course I want to be happy all the time, every day if possible. Maybe you do too. But how often did we feel happy? If we want to be happy everyday, then we need to be happy WITH everyday. We need to be okay with everything that happens.

What does happiness mean to you?

If we’re only happy when we have that car, promotion, new house, then we make ourselves unhappy until then. If we get upset when it rains on a Saturday morning, then we make ourselves unhappy until the sun comes out.

Accept the things that we fear. If we fear poverty, illness, and disgrace, then imagine that we’re poor, sick, and humiliated and BE OKAY with it. Although many would say impossible to achieve, wouldn’t it be nice to be happy unconditionally, needing nothing and no one? Accept what you and I fear, in order to free ourselves.

What do you need to be happy? Your requirements of happiness?

In a way, we’ve decided what happiness means, whether we know it or not. We decided that we’d be happy ONLY IF this and that happens. We’d be happy if we got that promotion. If we married that amazing person. If we moved to that beautiful house. If we prevailed over our imagined rivals.

When we identify or create the conditions needed to find happiness, we make ourselves suffer, i.e., unhappy, until all those conditions are met. And if one or more conditions is outside your control (e.g., winning the Nobel prize, or Jenny texting you back), then even if you did everything within your power, your happiness may still never arrive.

When will all the conditions for our happiness be met? Why make ourselves suffer until then?

Redefine happiness so you can feel happier

I want happiness as often as possible. I hope you do too! In fact, I want to be happiness itself! Why wait? Start now and stay happy.

Conditional yes, but lower the conditions! One day, let’s be happy for no reason. Unconditionally. Until then, I might still need something or someone to help me. Maybe you do too. But that’s okay! Let’s try making the conditions as easily achieved as possible.

Redefine happiness? To be happy all the time requires making it easier to be happy. Lower the threshold of what it takes to be happy. So, if you defined happy to mean “marrying that one and only soulmate for me out of nearly 8 billion” or “winning that Olympic gold”, then you might feel empty until that happens. That’s a HIGH threshold. Plus it’s largely outside our control.

The higher the threshold of happiness, the unhappier we become

For this reason, a high threshold or definition of happiness, requiring a high standard and high risk of failure, not in our control, does not seem an efficient or promising way to happiness.

Defining happiness this way almost guarantees misery.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting an Olympic gold, or finding a one-in-a-multibillion soulmate. In fact, magic comes from those wishes becoming true. But the question is whether you want to NEED those things to be happy. Or said differently, are you willing to be unhappy until those happen? Are you willing to be UNHAPPY until you find your true love out of almost 8 billion? How about looking for your one true love AND be happy at the same time, while enjoying your life journey?

Create our own happiness!

If we defined being happy to mean “learning, growing, and serving the world,” then we’re much likelier to be happy. Each element: learning, growing, and serving, can mostly or totally be in our control. If we defined happiness to include learning and growing, then it’s in our control to learn and grow, and bring happiness closer to ourselves.

If you defined happiness to also include serving the world, then you can serve the world and bring happiness even closer.

So YOU can be in charge of bringing happiness to yourself, and lessening your stress, based on how YOU define happiness.

And guess what? You are the only person in the world who can define happiness for you. No one else can. They can give you ideas, but they cannot think a single thought in YOUR head, let alone deciding what happiness means, and when it comes, for you.

What does happiness mean for you?