Malware – Time Travel Rescue

Who are the inner children

Healer and author Terrence Real wrote about our inner “wounded child”, “adaptive child”, and “natural child”. Who are they?

The wounded child and adaptive child for me are repetitive thought patterns and automatic reactions that stem from unreleased energy created by traumatic experiences.

Frozen thoughts born from memories that no one asked for or wanted.

They repeat because they’re frozen.

To free ourselves, they need to be thawed.

To heal, one must pay attention to the wounded and adaptive children – these frozen and stuck thought patterns. To see them, and to understand how they think when situations, i.e., “triggers” arise.

They generate reactivities in our lives. I see it now. I overreact to something, even today, when my inner children — deep memories and thought patterns — are activated. They are scared and they protect themselves, they might even fight back when they feel endangered.

Remember they are thoughts of a small child experiencing trauma.

They don’t have the life experience of an adult, to think logically. They only know what a small child knew up to that point. That’s why their fears are disproportionate to reality today, why they are often more sensitive and reactive.

They are deeply ingrained thought patterns born from traumatic events. From memory.

If we don’t watch them closely, they can and will take over in unhelpful ways even if they are trying to help.

Unwatched, they still run our emotions and act out in ways that no longer serve us. And often hurt us and others. But it’s not their fault. Don’t blame them. Don’t judge them.

Grievances, thoughts of them. Like “how dare they treat me this way”? These are disturbances generated from recurring thought patterns stemming from unreleased energies of the past.

And we have to watch them not just when triggers arise, but in general. They may be making fundamental choices in our lives.

We must connect with these different parts (memories) of ourselves, get to know them, accept them, love and protect them. Stop criticising, feeling ashamed, and ignoring them. And learn that we are the first responsible person for our own inner children and ultimate happiness.

I feel better now…

I recently came out of a funk. and this is what I learned… 🧵

First: It’s okay to feel bad from time to time. Of course I feel down now and then. You probably do too. It seems to happen to everyone! Therefore, I don’t need to feel bad for feeling bad.

So why feel bad for feeling bad? Why torture ourselves? Just feeling bad without resisting may be enough. Be okay with the fact that I sometimes feel sad. Can you be okay with your sadness too?

We’ve all been taught that feeling bad is bad. We are taught to help someone feel better. We’re taught to make ourselves feel better right away! No one ever told me it’s okay to feel sad, or to feel bad in any way. “keep up the good work”. 😂

But you know what? I felt better after permitting myself to feel bad. I sat there, with my crummy feelings. I didn’t push them away, ignore them, run away, or distract myself.

I feel better now. Day by day.

If you feel bad, it’s okay! You’re okay! It’s normal to feel bad from time to time. You’re totally normal to feel that way. You’re not alone! We’re actually all in this together! You’ll be okay! ❤️

#mood #MentalHealthMatters

Bad news, but also really good news about managing depression…

“Depression never seems to go away, no matter the life circumstances.”
– a dear friend.

This struck like a thunderbolt. Profound.

If changing life circumstances don’t eliminate depression, could it be because life circumstances, in themselves, also don’t CAUSE depression? Could it be that life circumstances didn’t really make us depressed? (We’ll discuss in another post, the opposite idea, that life circumstances, in themselves, also don’t create happiness. True happiness comes from the inside.)

Life circumstances aren’t the real culprit of our depression. The real cause is lodged deeply in our subconscious. It comes from the false ideas, beliefs, or assumptions that we’re weak, powerless, not good enough, unworthy of love, and incomplete. That we’re merely our physical body and circumstances.

So we try completing ourselves, forever proving our worth, searching for love, earning degrees, making parents proud, getting married, and buying houses, etc. While all these can be wonderful, does any guarantee long term happiness and eliminate depression?

That sounds pretty bad, depressing, even.

BUT here’s some very good news.

If it’s not what’s on the outside that depresses us, then it must be what on the inside, right?

That means we don’t need to change our life circumstances to eliminate depression; to do so we must change ourselves, from the inside.

But what do we change? Our minds, our thoughts. Our life changes when we change ourselves inside, and we change ourselves when we change our thoughts.

Here’s the great news. Thoughts are completely self-generated. The only one in the universe who can change those self-generated thoughts, is the thinker. YOU.

Can you think of any other person who can think the thoughts in your head?

“Bullskirt!”, you say, “my inconsiderate neighbor’s dog whizzed in my yard and THAT’S why I’m in a bad mood! They just disrespect me!”

But you’re in a bad mood BECAUSE you think you’re in a bad mood.

Don’t believe it? Have you ever been in a good mood when you THINK that you’re in a bad mood? Have you ever been in a bad mood when you THINK you’re in a good mood? Your mood is whatever you think it is. Good or bad. Either way, you are right, as Henry Ford supposed to have said.

YOU are the only one who can think a thought for you.
Neither your inconsiderate neighbor nor her dog can think your thoughts. Your neighbor can be inconsiderate, and her dog can whizz in your yard, but neither can think a single thought in YOUR head.
Only YOU can think your thoughts.
– Cody

Assuming you agree that you are the only one who can think your thoughts, let’s take the next step.

What thoughts should we examine? We must identify and evaluate the fundamental ideas and assumptions that run our lives, our mental operating system. (see We live in The Matrix, Part I). Some fundamental ideas and assumptions are essential for civilization, many serve us very well, but a few or more don’t. Let’s call the ones that don’t serve us “Malware”.

Our life’s work is to debug our mental operating system and release or repair the Malware. In the process we reveal and regain our authentic self. We let go of the false ideas mentioned earlier, realize and believe that we’re not just our physical body and circumstances. We are so much more. We’re whole, we’re enough, we deserve love, and we don’t need anything or anyone else to make us happy.

Here’s the catch: so many Malware burrow deep in our bones, they define how we think the world works, so much so that we take them for granted, take them to be true without realizing that we do. Without even realizing their existence.

We may be unaware of our deepest, most fundamental ideas and assumptions. Only a clear and accurate mindset about who we are can uncover the underlying mental codes and logic that form the operating system of our lives.

While that may seem challenging, I would pursue happiness with the thoughts I think and the feelings they can produce, rather than condition my happiness on life circumstances over which we have no real control. I can influence my thoughts. At least no one else really can. Remember, only one person in the universe can think the thoughts in my head or yours.

Let’s talk about how to find that Malware in future posts.