Tag Archives: the life we create

Redirect your thoughts this way to feel better instantly …

Although external circumstances and people can seem to cause our unhappiness, the truth is that it’s entirely our own thoughts that make us so.

As mentioned in an earlier post,

Nothing and no one can think the thoughts in our heads. We are the only person in the universe who can think our own thoughts.

This is liberating. If our own thoughts create unhappiness, then our own thoughts likewise can create happiness.

The thought that something is lacking in our lives makes us unhappy: the lack of money, recognition, status, relationships, and a thousand other things that other people seem to have more of.

The more we ruminate on what we lack, the unhappier we get.

And when we finally get what we want, happiness often seems fleeting. A big promotion that we’ve worked on for years? How long does it take before we feel lacking unless we get the next? A big salary bump? How long do we feel underpaid again? For how long does that shiny new car make us happy?

A general sense of unease and dissatisfaction pervades much of our lives. Always seeking, plotting, getting, all for a brief moment of respite.

Is real happiness fleeting? If what we thought would make us happy is temporary and illusory, then can it true that what we thought we lacked also wasn’t the true source of our unhappy condition?

If that’s true, then perhaps …

The more we think about what we have, the happier we become.

Instead of perpetually seeking, what if we redirected our thoughts to what we can be giving? Here’s one of the best advice / life philosophy I’ve ever heard:

The meaning of life is to discover our gift and give it to the world.

– Mr. Dave Bechtel

What if we focused our thoughts on finding our unique talents and using them in service of others? Instead of worrying about what’s missing, what if we think about what we have in our lives, and create ideas about how to share them with others? How about focusing on how fortunate we are?

What is YOUR gift and how can you share it with the world?

Happy New Year! May you continue to be blessed and find ways to share your blessing. May all the good you share with the world come back tenfold to make your life even better.

Be the creator of your life (YOU)

“Identify with the actor, not the character.”

– Srikumar Rao

If life is a movie, would you rather be a character in it, or the actor?

Character

A character’s story is written. A character may be acted upon by forces outside his or her control. The character’s story ends when the movie ends, or if the character dies. The character cannot change his or her fate.

The character is in a way completely passive, set in stone by how the actor plays it. Many characters in movies, other than the heroines and heroes, are at the mercy of their circumstances. They might even seem powerless victims.

If you had to be the character, then how about being the hero or heroine of your life? If your life is Forrest Gump, would you want to be Forrest, Jenny, Momma, or Lieutenant Dan?

But some don’t see themselves as the hero or heroine of their lives. They might not see themselves as Maverick in Top Gun, or Hermione in Harry Potter. Some might identify with an extra, out of the limelight, or maybe a victim. Bullied or ignored by other characters.

It’s your life. It’s mine. If we had to be a character, at least choose the character we become. Be the Hermione or Forrest of our life. Fulfill our potential.

Actor

The actor has more freedom. The actor can interpret and effectively create the character. The actor lives on when the movie ends, the actor survives even if the character dies. If the actor plays the character well, she may win an Oscar and go on to better roles.

We can be the actor instead of the character in our lives.

If we “play” our role well in this lifetime, our prizes may include peace and joy within, plus true happiness for ourselves and others. (see The First Step). And when the time comes for us to depart this life, we leave without regret, with nothing weighing on our heart, with nothing but love and gratitude.

And if you believe that our true self is more than this physical body, is spiritual and eternal, then you know that you will return for future roles to continue learning and growing your soul.

And even if you didn’t do so well this round, it’s okay because you can return and eventually become a superstar. Even Keanu Reeves of Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure became the legendary actor in The Matrix, Speed, Constantine, Point Break, among others.

Indeed.

Creator

The actor still follows the script and the director, right? The actor interprets the character but changes neither his fate nor the storyline.

How would you like to be the writer, director, and actor of your life? For example, Bradley Cooper, who cowrote, coproduced, directed, sang, and played Jackson Maine in A Star is Born. Too heavy a story? How about Greta Gerwig in Lady Bird, Tom Hanks in That Thing You Do, or Ben Stiller in Zoolander?

They wrote, directed, and acted in their own films. They created their own stories, brought their vision to life, and interpreted the characters they dreamed up.

What life would you create? How would the story go, starting today? How would you want to feel when this story ends? How would you play THE lead character of your story?

Need some inspiration to start? The Hero’s Journey may be a good template:

“A hero ventures forth from the world of common day into a region of supernatural wonder: fabulous forces are there encountered and a decisive victory is won: the hero comes back from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons on his fellow man.”

– Joseph Campbell
The Hero with a Thousand Faces (1949)

YOU and I can be the hero of our life’s journey. We don’t need to limit ourselves to any character. We can create the life that we want.

* Special thanks to Kelly S. Walden, friend and counselor, for introducing me to The Hero’s Journey.

More information about The Hero’s Journey:

A Practical Guide to Joseph Campbell and the Hero’s Journey

Thanksgiving

“The quality of our thoughts equals the quality of our lives.”

– Papa

I used to check the news and emails every morning when I open my eyes. Guess what? Stress immediately filled my mind. Cortisol pumped into the bloodstream. And that’s before getting out of bed!

What thoughts fill your mind as you wake up each morning?

Instead of filling our thoughts with the news, what if we woke up every morning filling our minds and hearts with gratitude?

We can use our calendars to remind ourselves every day. At 7 am, get a reminder to thank the Universe.

Thank the warm bed that we sleep in. How nice does it feel during these winter days? Roof over my head? Awesome. A good night’s rest? How about good health? Loving family and friends?

Too mundane? Try imagining our lives without them. Do they feel more special now?

“Desire the things that we already have.”

– Stoics

And what about YOU? You have a good heart? Care about others? Diligent at work and life? Then Go You! Thank yourself for being a good person. Thank yourself for trying something new. Thank yourself for being you.

If the quality of our thoughts equals the quality of our lives, and we want to be happier and feel better, then let’s try changing what goes on inside our minds and hearts for the better.

Happy Thanksgiving! May all your days be filled with gratitude.